the list

Blame it on nesting instinct or my naturally task-driven personality, but my entire focus has been on a list of what needs to be done before baby Greene comes. Fortunately my wonderful husband understand this motivation and is faithfully plugging away at this list even as a write. Meanwhile I struggle with not being able fulfill these goals by myself, being pregnant has taught me to ask for help, to admit limitations, and to let go of control. Hard lesson for sure.

Now, some items on this list are time sensitive, like finalizing a birth plan, or buying items for hospital bags. Still others, especially house projects, are not absolutely necessary right now. But boy do they feel like it. From the gnarled trees in the backyard, to the unpainted wall in the kitchen, to the minimal furniture in the living room, to the pile of boxes in the family/dining room. They all are important and all of them need to get done, and done now.

I guess the fear is that once this little boy is born all plans and house work will go out the window. It’s easy to feel this way. Everyone says life completely changes once you have a child, now I’m not sure if that’s meant to be advice or encouragement, either way it feels a little vague and ominous, but I understand the intent.

Our birth class coach said, the projects and house work will always be there, they will be right there, waiting for us to finish them whenever we are ready. Even the nursery doesn’t have to be completely decorated right away. What won’t be there after this child is born is our “single life”, our per-parent selves will be gone, forever.

So I realized yes, we need to move forward on projects, and we need to plug away at that list on the fridge, but we also need to find time. Time to rest, time to relax, time with each other. Whether that’s playing a short game after dinner, going to sonic on a Thursday night, or taking an hour out of our weekend to go miniature golfing; we need to still connect with each other. We need quality time that has nothing to do with major life adjustments of the last 9 months, both for our relationship and for ourselves. We need to enjoy these last few weeks with our pre-parent identities.

Right now that time doesn’t come naturally, we have to plan for it, put it in our calendar then not feel guilty about taking that time. But, in the grand scheme I recognize this time together is more important, more memorable, more rewarding than accomplishing the list on the fridge.

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