Last weekend was suppose to be my baby shower. I was so excited. I had already brainstormed and made plans for the theme, bought a dress, and we were talking about cake and games. I was so happy that I would have so many friends and family close by who would be able to attend. But of course that all changed.

I am grateful that I already had baby showers for Z. My mother and mother-in-law hosted showers in two different states and that was wonderful.

I wish that we could celebrate again, for a whole different child. When we had Z we were in transition. We didn’t have a lot of connections because we had moved less than six months earlier. But this time? We have great wonderful friends nearby and we were really looking forward to celebrating face-to-face with all of them.

It is sad to miss out on the joy, laughter and collective “ahhh’s” that happen when cute baby things are opened. It’s hard to not see my extended family-the generations that come before me able to celebrate and welcome this new life to the family

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Still we chose to make these circumstances work. We decided to do a video baby shower. Friends and family sent presents via my online registry etc. to our home before the shower date. L set aside all the cardboard boxes in a corner of the house.

Then on our “shower” day L dropped Z off at daycare and brought home a decaff lavender latte for me. We spent the morning put up decorations. Then L helped me set up a video in which I opened all the gifts in my baby shower dress. We shared this video on our online party page and in emails to friends and family.

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I have to admit it was awkward at first-it took awhile for me to get up the nerve to push the red record button (in the end L did that for me). I can’t say I enjoyed seeing myself on the video screen instead of seeing family and friends smiling back. Not hearing the normal banter, responses, questions and answers on items was hard. It was definitely different having L in the background shuffling cardboard boxes and shipping envelopes my way as I tried to put things closer to the screen for everyone to see. Eventually I settled into it and even did some commenting in between gifts.

After the video was done, I missed the normal “after party”. When family pulls together to clean up and talk about how it went. I told L that I missed reviewing the presents with other women who could appreciate them as we packed up.

But after we cleaned up we enjoyed awesome cake while looking at a beautiful bouquet of flowers my parents sent me.

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We promised everyone that once this is all over we will have a meet baby party. I am looking forward to seeing all of my friends again, reconnecting, and sharing our precious little one with them all. When it is safe to do so.

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For those of you  like me who have had to make major adjustments to or cancel personal celebrations in this season: I am truly sorry for your lost celebration, opportunity and/or experience. I would encourage you to find alternative ways to celebrate, even if in smaller or different ways than you wanted to.

Hold onto your hope-all of this will end-and when it does-we will all have so much to celebrate together.

 

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