This virus is taking  over a longer chunk of our lives. It is dictating and demanding more of our future. It has become chronic and it is hard to not imagine or worry as what felt temporary has become a pivotal cultural, political, and social turning point in our country.

I do not want to get much further into ALL of that-there are plenty of voices on all fronts on this topic.

As a mom my primary concern is the health and well being-long term of my kids. Its  hard to not to wonder how all of these events are and will continue to impact my sons.

For Z the lack of extroverted socialization options is compounded as he works out what it means to be a big bro. The emotional and mental outlets he needs right now learning to be patient and share mom and dad, are limited. We are having to, like many of you, be diligent and creative.

During nap time and midnight feedings I also wonder will Z be able to go to preschool? If so what will that look like? Do I have to make him wear a mask and if so how do I prepare him for that?

I question: will he be able to take swim lessons or play on a playground at all this summer? Will we be able to return to our social groups come the fall? If not what alternatives are there?

Of course I think long term as well for Z and G. How different will their school experiences be from my own? Will they have recess or be able to participate in sports or enjoy creative outlets with school? Or even bigger yet: what country will they grow up in? What world?

I know I’m not the only one wondering and worrying as we try to plan and consider options for the fall routine. There is so much unknown and unplanable. All I can do is wait, trust, and hope that when answers come L and I will have the wisdom to deal with them as needed.

As I look to the future I can dread, wonder,and worry about what I don’t know and cannot plan for. OR I can choose to look forward to what I do know.

We are in for an adventurous year with G. The first year with a little one holds so many “firsts”- such precious moments. These moments will become even more significant as Z experiences them and has his own “firsts” as a big bro. There will be plenty of milestones and memories built as we get to know G better and he us.

With so little known about our routine come the fall; I am trying choosing to focus on what I know I can look forward to: making memories as we learn and grow as a family of four.

What do you know you can look forward to?