Special Wedding Guests: how to care for kids, grandparents, and those with allergies.

We all want to ensure those who come to our wedding, especially close friends and family are well cared for and can enjoy the experience. I thought I’d share a few details from my wedding and some additional ideas to show you care for those special wedding guests.

Kids

I did not have many children at my wedding, and all of those who came were toddlers or older. But for those that came I chose to provide coloring books and crayons from the 99 cent store placing them in mason jars on their dinning tables. During the celebration, one boy came up to me and politely asked if he could keep his dinosaur themed coloring book. Another family with three children colored pages which they tore from their books and gave to Luke and I as gifts.

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Other options: If you are anticipate a large number of children, consider hosting a children’s table which can have butcher paper or a paper table cloth that the children can draw on, paper place mats would work well too. This way the children can still participate and enjoy themselves while their parents get a chance to have a grown-up discussion.

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coloring at my bridal shower

Grandparents

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my grandmother’s
Luke's grandmother and friend
Luke’s grandmother and friend

Grandparents of the Bride and Groom are honored guests that should be considered in the wedding venue. And knowing the venue’s staff’s friendliness toward your guests and their needs is important. It was pouring down rain at my wedding rehearsal so one of my grandmothers , Luke’s grandmother and their friends decided to spend the rehearsal in the bridal room that the coordinator willingly offered to open.

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My rainy wedding rehearsal and the golf-cart used to transport guests

My wedding was outdoors at a three level venue, bottom for ceremony, terrace for hors d’oeuvre, and top level for dinner with two paths: a set of stairs and a concrete walkway. Fortunately the venue offered golf-cart rides for guest who needed assistance on these paths for the rehearsal and wedding. In addition to this, we also had ushers who were available to help people down the path and/or across the grass to their seats both of which I know the grandparents appreciated.

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Those with Allergies 

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my cousin and her husband at the front of the serving line

I am more than sympathetic with those who suffer from food allergies, considering I have my good share of them.  My cousin,  grandmother, and my mother-in-law are all gluten-free. The dinner was BBQed chicken and or steak, salad, rice, and bread. Fortunately each piece of the meal was in its own container and dished up by servers using separate serving utensils for each dish.  So my grandmother and cousin were able to specify to the food servers not to put bread on their plates. Still the venue made it clear they could not set up a gluten-free zone in their kitchen. And my mother-in-law ,who for health reasons only eats organic and gluten free, was allowed to bring her own meal.

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I was able to have my wedding cake because cake flour does not contain barley, but for those who were gluten-free I also chose to have a dessert bar. The venue offered vintage candy store glass jars for free use. All I needed to provide were the goodies, labels, and serving utensils.

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Since this was a fall wedding in apple country, we had a container for carmel apple pops.We also chose one favorite old fashion candy of the Groom’s (Luke) root beer barrels and the bride’s (me) soft peppermints. Last of all we made gluten-free shortbread cookies and organic and gluten free peanut butter cookies. We bought small goody-bags and set up a sign instructing guests to fill up a bag to take home. So this was both a way to take care of those who weren’t fans or couldn’t eat cake and an edible favor! I had Stina (my soon to be sister-in-law) set up and monitor the candy bar making sure it stayed stocked.

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It is in the these small ways I showed those guests who needed a little special attention that they are appreciated and welcomed.

The Dress

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The Wedding Dress. It is the most expensive dress you will ever wear and the one you will have pictures of forever. But without  direction, shopping for a wedding dress can be an exhausting and frustrating. Here are a few things to consider before   shopping.

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#1 know you budget and stick to it!!!

A. If you don’t know exactly how much you have to spend on a dress you are bound to spend more than you expected. Although workers at bridal shops are extremely helpful and friendly, they are also salespeople. After trying on several “nos” at my first bridal store, out came an off-white dress covered in lace and applique. It was beautiful. Beautiful that is until I heard the cost. So warning: do not even allow them to put you in a dress that you cannot afford-if you are not sure  ask them –before you put it on and fall in love.

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B. Alterations and rush-order fees: Your dress will need basic alterations (hemming and bustling) which can cost a pretty penny. If you need the dress to be pulled in somewhere it will cost extra. Each place has a different rate/policy about alterations-so ask for an estimate.  It is still important to have your dress altered by professionals; trust me it’s worth the money.

Also know your timeline. If you are going to have a short engagement (like I did) you will probably have to pay a rush-order fee. Bridal shops expect you to come in 4/6 months prior to the wedding. When your engagement is less than that you are already behind in their mind. So tell them your wedding date and ask if/how much a rush order fee would be. That may determine which dress you can afford.

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Hint: For all of this it may be helpful to bring along a calculator . Don’t be afraid to ask questions and don’t forget about taxes!!

Note for alterations and trying on samples: Sample dresses have been flattened and worn over and over again. So if you  choose a dress with layers of tulle, when the dress is pressed it will be more full than when you tried it on in the store or even during alterations

For example, during alterations I asked for a layer of tulle to be removed from my modified/mini ball-gown. When I saw the dress pressed it still looked very full. At my outdoor evening wedding reception, the tables and were chairs close together.  Because of this and how full my dress was people ended up stepping on it, pulling the bustle out. After awhile this became pretty frustrating.  So much so that I convinced Luke to not twirl or spin me too much for our first dance for fear I may trip and fall.

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C. There are great options for cheaper dresses:

1.Buy used or vintage.  It know you want your own special dress. But who said a used or vintage dress can’t be special?  The dress can be altered (by professionals) and it will look totally different on you than a previous person. With your wedding, your accessories, no one will care or need to know!

2. Buy off of the sample rack. Some bridal stores have a separate corner where sample dresses are sold. You may wonder about their condition considering how many brides-to-be have tried them on. But for hundreds instead of thousands a small repair in addition to professional alterations and cleaning would be worth it. The bridal shop where I got my wedding dress had sample racks next door. I looked at styles and tried a few things on from different price ranges. Doing this helped me discover I could afford something similar next door.

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#2 Know your shape and style

You will save yourself a lot of dressing rooms if you know what style of dress you like and what flatters your shape. There is nothing wrong with loving the style of a mermaid or trumpet dress but if you are like me and do not have a long torso or narrow hips you may not be happy with the outcome if you try it on. Likewise if you are short or petite a formal ball-gown could swallow you up.

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This is not to say you shouldn’t choose these options. You all have beautiful bodies and you want them to look their best. So pick a style you are comfortable with and feel flattering in. Although I looked good in a lacy A-line they were more expensive and I was a little self-conscious of how prominent my hips were. So I opted for a modified ball-gown that flares out at the waste. If you need help determining your shape and style  check out real simple wedding dress: “perfect dress for your body type”.

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#3 Know your venue and time of year

Where you are getting married and during which season will also make an impact on your dress choice. You do not want to wear a heavy beaded ball-gown at a beach wedding in August. Or a tea-length lacy dress for a winter formal church service.

 I arrived and left the ceremony site by horse drawn carriage.  It was a little challenging with a large dress to find the seat and my dad (arriving) and Luke (leaving) had to support me so my slippery dress didn’t cause me to fall out as we went up/down the hill to/from the wedding site. It was a small issue but your ability to get around and feel comfortable in your wedding dress is important.

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My dress was perfect for me. It it had pockets, a sweetheart neckline, plunging back, embellished blush ribbon, and pearl buttons all the way down the train; simple and classy.  I know there are many beautiful options out there. My hope is this blog has helped you get one step closer to finding the perfect dress for you.

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